Sunrise with Sea Monsters

by Tanis MacDonald

Take this simple test to see

if you should spend more time

in the natural world. Name ten

kinds of local trees. Ten local

birds. Ten naturally-occurring

local flora. In what phase is

the moon tonight? When did you last

see a sunrise? When did you last

sleep beneath your canoe on a tiny

island? Natural. Do you believe in

the power of sunrise to dispel

sandflies? How high did you jump

when the morning bugled in with

a dog’s head and the torn

remains of a net? How quickly did

you launch your canoe? Have you ever

fallen from a great height in a cloud

of wax? Are those your legs disappearing

into the water? Are you now or have you

ever been dumped

overboard for the insurance? How close

are the monsters? Test to see. How much

do you believe the scholarly

theory that the monsters are just

fish? How will you

string your rod? Name ten

successful lures. Are you sun blind?

Are you giving up the ship or just

going down with all hands? When were you

last boarded, press-ganged, seized

amidships? Are you a Jonah or just  

not wanted on the voyage? Is that

an albatross around your

neck or are you just happy

to sea? Take this. Why did you

bless the water snakes? Where did you first

meet them?  Were you drinking water water

everywhere? (By gum, that’s mutiny,

sir; that’s entrapment.)  Did you lure

the monster with your shapely pegleg?

This island’s mine, by Sycorax

my mother; that’s her swimming

starboard. Stand up now, grip the

gunwhale if you must, and show
some goddamned respect. Simple.